"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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