you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
