Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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