there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
