Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
