i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
