i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Your dad touched me again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
