tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can't turn off my feet"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
