whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
