We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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