Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
