I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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