Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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