And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
