it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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