you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
