i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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