How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
