his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
