yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
