Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
