im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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