I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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