Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
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