That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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