so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
