dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
