that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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