i permit you to call me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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