Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
