Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
