I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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