Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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