no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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