She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
