margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
oh god the rape fog is back!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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