So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
