I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Terrible idea I love it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
