I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
