Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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