I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
