Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
