Don't make out with my wife yet
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
