finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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