Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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