Do vagina's smell?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wish you could order shots online.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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