I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
