she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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