i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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