I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
