Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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